im sorry for what ive done. but sometimes i feel more guilt for what i have not done.
seriously ridiculous. i swear you cant get anymore rude. you still haven’t changed the way you speak to me.that was the main thing i wanted change and yet it has no changed a bit. thanks for even apologizing or taking into account the little things i do. to try and grow little by little.
im so anxious about tonight… but i want her to be happy.. its hurting me to no end, but i have to beleive her.. i just want her to be on the phone with me tonight..i want to know shes in her bed, with me on the phone..but i haveto trust her and hope for the best.. i hope she has a good time.
She’s 241 miles a way,
Been running 241, miles per hour in my mind
So I asked her to be mine, 241 miles feels like so much less once she had been mine again.
damn. i didnt know even if im going through some emotional shit i still gotta stay here to keep you comfy. where is your attempt to stay and comfort ME. damn.
man. my walls are like rubber, everytime hit, from the inside or out, it sends me through waves of emotion, damn
some time alone to learn to cope
a smile because i fight sadness with sadness
i can only do what i can with what i do have.
what i dont have isnt here to help, asleep in a bed,
there in my head, but not in my bed, where id prefer them instead
ill cope one way or another, this isnt all about an us, but this is about me
i need to learn who i am and who i can be
im pushing my limits and yours, dont let this be on you.
these limits are me, im all about pushing buttons, stress test, limits above, making these more than what you want. does this make sense to you? is this about you? nah, its me. my lines are incoherent, along with my thoughts, no path alignment no straight train of thought. its like a cycle of scramble, an oxymoron of mentality, this is, dysfunctional reality.
A week goes by
A darkened sky
An active home
Yet so alone
The day turns to night
As I start to fight
The fight of my life.
I weep sand
No tears at hand
Tears in mind
But none to find.
gah. fuck i just need help LOL. life sucks sometimes
bipolar problems .-.
im tired of this… i love you. ok..? i know we arent together.. but i love you still… just nothings ok when we’re together.. and even as friends, we have little good between us… im sorry… i know how to apologize for what ive done, and what i may not have done.. i feel like im in a jail still.. its cold, the walls are hard, the feeling is so low.. just cause i have my friends around doesn’t mean i’m happy. i need something… “i’m sinking again, i’m drinking again drownin’ and wildin’ you breathin’ again is easy to sin when you bleeding within’ needin’ the grin, cheese and recede in the spend lower than low, lower than low that’s how i feel in the morning lower than low lower than low that’s how i sound when you callin’ lower than low, lower than low i’m high but feel like i’m falling i’m sorry but i feel lower than low”